Semaphore Invasion

They started appearing shortly after the snow left. Popping up unannounced out of no where. The first one caught me off guard and threw me by surprise, it really did. The green light at the traffic semaphore production factory must be logging in the overtime.

I know the roads of my community like the back of my own hand. There I was in my jeep, mind elsewhere, as I drove on auto pilot, humming along with my music, talking with my kids, and eating fast food when the first new stop sign emerged with its regal authority. Always being one to take direction well, I put my foot on my brake, french fry midway to my mouth, and asked the redundant question, "What's that?" "Mom", my youngest kid answers from the back seat, "that's a stop sign. See, S.T.O.P.", patiently as if it was I who were the child. I continued to sit motionless and marvel at this envision of my roadway until the honk of the a horn from the cars lining up behind me, reminded me that stopping is only the first part of the stop and then go sequence the sign commands.

Seams as this was the first sign of a herd that were to follow. They are now popping up every where like wild beasts infringing on my ability to speed. And they are bringing with them their tougher big brother, the traffic light.

I was good with the new blinking warning light over the pedestrian walkway in front of my children's school, but it should have stopped there. They are breeding and appearing everywhere. Next street over, it is a "Slow Children" sign. The same families have lived on that road since we moved in here, eighteen years ago. Did it take them until now to realize they had ball chasers in the vicinity? The kids are of legal age now.

I was twenty minutes late for work today because I had to wait for the light at the end of my driveway to turn green. During the night, a light was put up outside my bathroom door. I peed my pants waiting for the right of way.

I would rant more on the intrusion of my motional advancement, but I want to beat the traffic. I have discovered if I make a series of right hand turns, (legal in this state at a red light,) through my children rooms and their bathroom, instead of waiting to attempt a left turn at the top of the stairs, I avoid most of the rush hour dinner traffic leading into the kitchen.